Saving Conversation By Not Interrupting

            4 months, 12 days ago at 2 pm, I was sitting in one of my favorite places, a cafe library, listened to someone in front of me who was talking about himself, and successfully ruined my day. It should be a date, but it seems like I was attending seminar with speaker talking, all the times, and I’m a participant who has to listen to him, all the times. That was the first thing which ruined my feeling on that day, but unfortunately that was not the last. The most annoying thing during my date was, he interrupted me many times! I realize that communication is the art of speaking and listening. I was trying to be a good listener for him, but unfortunately he wasn’t. It is all about, interrupting. 

            Interrupting can cause a whole stream of problems and challenges. It reduces our effectiveness as a listener, negatively impacts relationships, shuts down communication, and many more. It demonstrates that we have complete lack of respects of others feelings or thoughts. If we constantly interrupt another person, they will soon find it very frustrating and will quickly dislike having conversation with us. I also find myself having lack of interest of my date mate because of his interrupting behavior. You don’t want the same thing happened to you, do you? I got 3 ways which I usually use  to avoid interrupting. 

            The first tool I've come up with is to actually count to 3 in my head after someone finishes speaking. During this time, I am NOT allowed to talk. It helps me stop stepping on the ends of conversations and keeps me focused and in the present enough to actually listen to what is being said.

            The second one is keeping my mouth shut. Literally. Practice keeping our lips together while another person is talking. Communication is 92 percent nonverbal, so our body language will indicate how we feel about what we are hearing.

            The third is actively listen. If you think that good listeners are the people who spend more time silently listening and letting others talk more often, you'd be wrong. Active listening requires you to not remain silent as a listener. Indicate our attentiveness by using “verbal nods,” which include phrases such as “That’s interesting,” “Oh, really,” “Uh-huh,” “Good,” “I see,” “Please go on,” “Yes, I understand,” and “Could you please say more about...” Instead of cutting off others sentences, you already being a good listener by reflecting back what you hear. It also means that you are focusing on what they are saying.

            Bad habits are hard to break, but if we sincerely want to make this change, and are willing to work at it, then it is definitely possible. This post is also available in audio version on my soundcloud channel here.

July 2013

Note: Some of sources taken from ehow.com